My feeling is that too many people enforce too often and too soon transactional patterns in their relation to others and their needs. By "transactional pattern" I mean a conversation that can be summed up to "if you do this, you get that".
Even if the balance seems right at first, in many circumstances such a transaction may have a demotivating, un-involving effect, diminishing the trust between the two parties.
The opposite would be to offer generously, not expecting anything in return (or expecting very little), assuming the risk of some taking advantage of you, but building relations in return - not to mention the feeling of fulfilment that comes from giving. From the receiver side, I remember my strong feelings of respect for the people that offered more than I asked for, unconditionally.
While transactions mean insurance, generosity can be seen as a risky investment in others. By giving a helping hand unconditionally and showing trust and appreciation for other's needs and personality, we raise the bar for development and commitment. While some will take what they were offerend and never look back, others will take the challenge and become better persons themselves, giving back or giving forward to others in return.
This brought me thinking back to a book I read several years ago "The Generous Man: How Helping Others Is The Sexiest Thing You Can Do" which argues that generosity is one of the most revealing signs of strength one can show.
2 comments:
I like very much the way you underline the difference that comes when you are 100% generous or, generous including also an "if statement".
And this little "if" pays an important role. It's the difference that makes human relationships go to a deeper lever, or stay at a "contractual" level ("I'll do this and you'll do that) which always implies staying with an eye on the "win to win" balance.
Here is a great video that explains more in details what really implies being generous and "how people works":) --> http://vimeo.com/26774102
I like very much the way you underline the difference that comes when you are 100% generous or, generous including also an "if statement".
And this little "if" pays an important role. It's the difference that makes human relationships go to a deeper lever, or stay at a "contractual" level ("I'll do this and you'll do that) which always implies staying with an eye on the "win to win" balance.
Here is a great video that explains more in details what really implies being generous and "how people works":) --> http://vimeo.com/26774102
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