What Means to Be Sure of Yourself

Yesterday I was putting my papers in order when I stumbled upon some notes I wrote during a leadership training I participated in few years ago. It was about what it means to be sure of yourself. I thought I'd share them with you as a short sum-up of the subject.

A person sure of herself:

• Speaks loud and clear
• Expresses his feelings
• Expresses her wishes loud and clear
• An unspoken wish does not exist.
• An unsure person is afraid to express his wishes because of fear of criticism or refusal.
• Knows how to say NO
• Personal note: I've discovered that it is much easier to say NO when you are prepared. By that, I mean you know your objectives and you have a course charted to accomplish them. If you have a plan, it's easier to estimate your resources and availability and whether what you are asked to do benefits you as well. 
• Is capable of criticism
• Positive statement + criticism
• Express emotion + criticism
• Express solutions + criticism
• Descriptive and precise
• Reacts positively to criticism
• Criticism is seen as information
• Asks for more details and rephrases to make sure he understands
• Asks for advice
• Expresses her emotions when critics is overwhelming
• Can decide whether to use the other person as mentor
• Allows himself to make mistakes
• Any mistake is seen as an experience that can be overtaken
• Any mistake does not say about me that I've embarrassed myself forever
• Is capable of asking for help
• Only the strong ones ask for help
• Hiding a weakness and not asking for help attracts attention
• Is capable of self-presentation
• Visual contact, distance between individuals, movement, speed of speech, loudness of speech, content of speech

As a side note, all the above traits transcend the One Minute Manager's story:

http://www.amazon.com/Minute-Manager-Ph-D-Kenneth-Blanchard/dp/0425098478